Forgiveness: to forgive is to completely give up something, holding nothing back and to expect nothing in return.

 The following story has been resonating in my heart a lot lately. There’s not much I personally want to add, the story itself and a few paragraphs from Graham complete all I want to press into our hearts today-The release that comes from forgiveness.

I believe it’s one of the most overlooked gifts we have from Jesus. Most of the time the act of forgiveness just lays to rest in the back of our mind while our fists stays clinched. From that place anger stems and hate is activated in our hearts over and over again while you find yourself in selfishness. The thought that commonly retrieves us from forgiving: we’re punishing the other person by holding anger. In reality, you’re rotting your own heart. It’s spiritual poison that we’re all guilty of.

I’m not saying it’s always easy, or it’s ever easy. You’re pretty much going against human nature and maybe the opinions of those around you. But the truth is, you will never know complete freedom until forgiveness. To be free, to move on, to heal, one must eventually forgive.

Last summer in Nicaragua, I met a man who was visiting us from the states. He had one of the most redemptive stories of forgiveness I have ever heard. As I was planning a continuum on teaching forgiveness for the youth, he sat down next to me, he said “I have a pretty great good story about forgiveness…but I’ve never spoken it to a group before”.

I asked him if he would share his story. As he spoke, peace was present in his eyes, his heart no longer held anger. The magnitude of forgiveness left my heart pounding, but his words came meek, he simply chose to forgive. A man released from those heavy breaths of anger, a mind freed from ruin. It humbled me to my core. His heart was full as he told us the day he chose.

Continue reading here

            I’ve found myself looking at myself in the mirror and wondering if the “me” on the inside really knew what the “me” on the outside was looking at.   Does the “me” on the outside really know what is happening on the inside?  In Revelation 2:23, the Lord speaks as says: “…all the churches will know that I am He would searches heart and mind…” This world looks at us from the outside, in.  Jesus looks at us from the inside, out.  Holding true to Matthew 6:21 will guide us down a path filled with trust rather than deception and the inescapable desire to fix everything around us.  The “me” on the inside wants to give up control but the “me” on the outside thinks about the physical and how much it’s in need to be fixed. 

            The facts are as such: We are a screwed up people!  The sooner you realize that, the better off you’ll be.  The kicker is this: we’re a screwed up people that is unstoppably loved by Jesus Christ.  His passionate, ungovernable love is far greater that the cosmos.  Our job is to trust that truth and hold tightly on to it!  I see this wave whose sole purpose is to rip the foundations of our security right out from under us.  The only way this wave can achieve that is if we let it.  We hold the keys and it’s only when we see the broken things in our lives that we start to think about everything we need to fix.  The stable platform of trust begins to wobble because it’s our faith that’s holding it together.  Without faith in Christ, nothing is possible. 

            I’ve read The Bible stories that talked about all these people who displayed unparalleled amounts of faith amidst circumstances and events that would normally call us to abandon it.  They displayed faith to the point of death, never ceasing to give thanks to God.  What I see now, is Jesus reasoning with the Religious Officials, Peter staying in prison, Shadrack, Meshack, and Abindigo bowing before the golden statue, Isaiah not standing up, Noah not building the arch, Abraham not listening to God.  I see that in myself.  The urgency to fix something eternal with man made tools.  It just doesn’t work that way.  What I’m saying may not make any sense to you but it’s as clear as day in my heart.  We think we can buy our way into God’s favor when it’s a matter of relinquishment.  I thought that it took more that my faith to bring about my salvation.  God gave me a gift of the eternal and I live my life by repayment.  At least that’s what I saw and what was taught to me. 

So what do we have?  We have two people fighting a battle within us, while our mind is stuck in the middle.  The spiritual side of life and the flesh side are what we’re fighting.  The flesh desires to fix everything, wants to buy or earn it’s way into Heaven and into love, while the spirit is so infatuated in the persona of God that nothing matters except Him.  Within myself, I cannot recall the assembly that I had with the spirit and the flesh to really speak up on what is at stake.  Like the president in the war room of the Whitehouse, I needed to have a sit down with the spirit waging war within and discuss the end product of what really is going to happen.  It never happens the way we plan.  The fleshes craving for control speaks volumes to the spirits whisper. 

I learned that the more I submitted my flesh and the “desire to fix” myself to the spirit living within me; the clarity of my situation spoke immensely.  It wasn’t like I was going to live problem free and never face anything that didn’t need fixing in my own life.  It’s the notion of not longing for the absence of problems that set me free.  You discern the fact that your flesh and this world are full of problems that can only be solved when we renounce our claim on life and allow the Lord to truly lead.  Trying to live problem free would be an unrealistic goal to aim at.  The spirit of the Lord is using the problems we receive in life as a challenge to grow.  We have to remember that His hand will never let go of ours.  In that promise, we grow and learn more and more of what it means to rely on the Lord for everything.  It’s in those hard times we’re reminded that we need Him for everything.  That without Him, we plummet! 

            I fell.  It’s the reason I’m writing about this.  I’ve realized the veracity of this reality of my relationship with Christ.  I lived my life one moment with the aspiration of Christ only to shy away from Him the next moment.  I needed Him one moment when I screwed myself up but when I felt advanced from where I was, I placed Christ on the shelf and left Him there until I needed Him again.  It’s been a never-ending cycle of extracting what I needed while remaining in the same place, never growing.  Almost like running on a treadmill.  As a man, I thought to myself that I could handle the situation on my own without anyone else’s help.  Wrong!  It’s that cycle I referred to.  I was restored just enough to leave once again to try to do it on my own without ever establishing a relationship with Christ.  That never-ending cycle through the people we’ve seen throughout The Bible stories.  Those who used God to get what they wanted in comparison to those who established a connection with God and relied on Him for everything.  It’s transitioning to this life that fills us full of peace and understanding that we can begin to learn what is right in God’s eyes.  My needs become doorways to deep dependence on God and increasing the intimacy between Him and I. 

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gently and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-29

            Now, it’s an everyday battle raging within myself, but it’s not a battle that I cannot have an impact on it some way.  As I choose Christ, the things of this world seem insignificant and low in comparison.   My spirit is crying out for liberation and my flesh hates it.  My spirit gives me over to the sculptor while my flesh fights for the hammer and chisel.  Jesus is constantly, never concluding this fight I’m in with Him.  He carry’s me when I cannot walk and fights when I cannot.  His strength never fails as mine does.  It’s a never-ending cycle of love and maturity.  Jesus is the exact opposite of the world and loves showing me what that means.  In the end, it’s never finish.  I always have the ability and right to learn more about what is happening in the spiritual places.  All it takes is a question and the patience to wait for the answer. 

“What then shall we say to these things?  If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?  Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect?  It is God who justifies.  Who is to condemn?  Christ Jesus is the one who died – more than that, who was raised – who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.  What shall separate us from the love of Christ?  Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sward?  No in all these tings we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Romans 8:31-39

The rains have come; shout it from atop the mountains because the Lord is merciful and just when it comes to enduring the heat of Central American dry seasons.  Nothing says May more than rain.  Seriously!  No, all joking aside; the Lord has shown me many things that have been happening all around me.  It’s really had to put into words the things that I’ve learned via the channels and rooms of my heart that the Lord secretly waited for me to come to.  All I can say is that this love for Him that I have has no bounds.  It’s like filling a small glass with the oceans of the world.  To me, it’s been an ever-evolving roller coaster.  I’d take a hard bank pushing a couple G’s before it would shoot straight up into the sky doing triple barrel rolls before stopping in mid roll and then slowly creep forward into a sheer 90 degree drop before I would stop and slowly go forward as if it were a kiddy coaster.  So many angles and degrees the Lord uses to teach us in many different ways.  The things we learn are new and refreshing.  It may start out small at first but grow and grow into this grand tree full of knowledge having many limbs of learning while offering shade for rest and recovery. 

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of Light with whom there is no variation or change.”

James 1:17 

Being overseas, I’ve grown with the Lord but I’ve also grown to appreciate the things that I see being abused here.  Family in particular!  Families here are not something one would wish for as being the thing they desire the most.  The things I hear and see that go one make me sick to my stomach but I often see this and stop and listen how the Lord reminds me that these same things are happening in the states, in our communities and in our churches.  Abuse!  There is no love and it’s the reason why everything is falling apart.  We’ve become a people so concerned with what it happening to us that we’ve lost sight to the important things happening around us.  We are all in this together.  What’s the point in fighting for ourselves when those around us are dying and without help?  I’ve noticed things and I believe it to be the Lord showing me what He is seeing.  I remember back when I prayed that prayer.  I was going through some personal things and I asked the Lord to open my eyes to see the way He sees.  Now, I’ve prayed this prayer in the past and nothing really happens, but I’m telling you that it’s different when your heart is in the right place in comparison to praying for something just to have it.  We learn and grow in the Lord when our lives are placed in the perfect situation for growth.  It’s not easy and it will not always produce the outcome that you wanted, but I’ve learned to approach the things of God with an open mind to see what He wants to do.  That only happens when our hearts and eyes are open to Him.  My heart is beating with a love for the people of this Country and it’s truly the Love of the Lord flowing through me to them.  I’ve had people tell me in the past that it’s because I’m living overseas that I love the people and country, but I explain it to them that it’s the other way around.  It’s because of the people and this country that I’m living here.  I don’t see it ending anytime soon.

“Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.”

Romans 12:1

As with everything I’ve learned, it’s never ending.  That speaks volumes with music.  Music in Nicaragua is the traditional; two chord songs with the singers singing through their nose.  You’ve got to admire their heart for singing to the Lord but for most of them, the gift is not in music.  We’ve don’t bash this act of love expressed but rather try and channel it to different areas where it’ll be more productive.  Music is one area in Nicaragua that I would’ve never thought of myself to be.  I hated practicing and, especially, when it comes to the guitar, practice is something that has to happen everyday if you want to be good at it.  When you’re limited to just a guitar surrounded by people with not musical talent, hopes seem to dwindle.  As always, that spark ignites within and that fire begins to grow and grow and grow.  I’ve been baptized into this worship of inexpressibility.  From within, our real self begins to shine. 

“But an hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in Spirit and in Truth; for such a people the Father seeks to be His worshipers.”

John 4:23 

Growing in Christ is just the beginning.  What waits, only Christ knows! 

This story is one that happened over the span of a couple days so trying to tie it all in may confuse some of you, but I’ll do my best.

A couple of days ago, Friday, I met this man named David.  I was setting up for a youth service that we were going to have that night.  I place the speakers up and connect all the microphones and cables to get everything working correctly for the services and worship sessions that we do on Friday and Sunday nights.  We usually always have some group of people hanging out in the Church, either talking, hanging out, working or whatever.  There was this man there by the name of David.  He came up to me, while I was connecting some cables and began talking about music and how He loved to play music for the Lord.  He’s really into Rock music by the bands he was describing that he enjoyed listening to.  He was asking me about learning the guitar.   I really didn’t think too much of this guy when he began talking with me.  I have many guys come up to me to ask about learning the guitar, most of them do it out of an impulse to play the instrument but the reality of the situation is that most wont be able to practice and stick to it.  So I talk with them about it all and tell them what it takes to play this instrument and they’re always up in arms to give it their all.  After the service, David and I talk a little more about music and then he left.  I, honestly, had no idea that I would see this man again.  On a scale from one to ten on the things that I expected would to come from that encounter, was a zero.

Sunday, power goes out at 12:45 p.m. This is normal for us because power goes out all the time, but on Sundays it’s a little unnerving because of the services we have at night.  No power = no service.  I’m sitting around the Café of our mission talking with some of the youth about life and really enjoying this conversation.  Here in Nicaragua, you can have the same conversation with just about any one all on the same day.  However, there are some days and some people that really need to hear what you have to say and they open up their hearts to the words the Lord is speaking through you and me.  6:00 p.m. rolls around and we are still without power.  Service was cancelled and we all planned to head into Léon that night because out mission house is an oven without power, especially at night.  One would think it would be cooler but it’s not.  I don’t understand why.  One of the many mysteries of Nicaragua.

I had my bag pack and walked around to the front of the mission house.  Rosa was there talking with Lisa.  I said “Hello” to her and asked how she was doing and she responded with a “Blessed, Praise God!”  My time with Rosa has been cut short this month due to the influx of people wanting to learn the guitar and the amount of time I put into practicing with the Worship team to train them and equip them to sing with a full heart, full of passion.  I was just about to walk into the house when none other than David shows up.

What follows is nothing short of a Holy Spirit miracle.

I greet him and ask him how he was doing and his question was “is there a service tonight?”  I told him no because there aren’t any lights or electricity.  Upon that response, David says, “Well then you need to pray for me please!”  Immediately, he begins to break down.  Sobbing and falling to his knees, while crying out to God for help.  Now, this all happened in a matter of seconds.  There was no “leading up to” involved anywhere.  It was as if the levy in his life broke and the floodwaters began coming out.  Listening to what he was saying, the Lord began speaking to my heart about what David was dealing with.  “My heart hurts…,” he kept repeating.  When David first came up to me, I could smell the alcohol on his breath as he was talking with me.  I knew that this man had a heart after God but as the world seeks to destroy that which we hold so close, he came to the only place that he knew he’d be safe.  This came in waves, I’d pray over him and he’d regain some of his composer and then another wave of wave of emotions comes rushing back causing him to fall to his knees unable to break free from this pain he was feeling.  He, basically, fell into me cause me to physically hold him up.  He was shouting “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” It’s so strange to me when things like this happen.  I have words in my mind that I desire to say to him but knowing not the way causes me to rethink what I pray but when I just let go and let God take the situation in His hand, words begin flowing out of my mouth in ways that I cannot explain.  I began using words in Spanish that I’ve never used or even knew how to say for that matter.  David was crying out to God for help and forgiveness because of the choice he’d made in his life.  Nothing can prepare you for the emotional tidal wave that people can bring to your doorstep…literally.  As God is faithful, I know that nothing will stop Him from accomplishing His goal.  David told me he came just for the service and that when we told him there wasn’t one, his hope was shattered.  However, Christ had a different plan in store for David.

So you can feel what I felt during this time and grasp the magnitude of this mans pain, I remembered hearing him cry out that he was going to kill himself because he was that sick with they ways he’d been living.  Death!!  Sometimes I think we get too wrapped up in our Christian bubble of security to really realize the true terror that’s out there plaguing those around us.  We write it off as their problem when we have every bit of responsibility to do something about it as the next person.  I never planned to do this.  It’s what the Holy Spirit brings to us and it’s our responsibility to respond to it.  As I was, I never liked being confronted or to make a scene.  As the Holy Spirit moves, it’s the desire of His heart to see men free and liberated from the toils and despairs they are dealing with.  David was going to kill himself but decided to come to church, drunk even, knowing that he needed something from God and found it!  God met David right there in the dirt, with tears streaming through his hands falling on the dusty ground; God healed David’s heart.  I remember saying to David to proclaim himself free: “Soy Libre!”  I told him to repeat it over and over and over again.  God was singing that over David that night.  “You’re my son, I love you, You’re free!”  It’s believing that while we were sinners, Christ died for us.  “Soy Libre!”

As I sit today pondering on what happened last night, it reminds me of Psalm 51 of which David is crying out to God for forgiveness.  It’s such a wonderful chapter that can speak volumes to you if you let it:

Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
and justified when you judge.
 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
 Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
you taught me wisdom in that secret place.

 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.

 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
so that sinners will turn back to you.
 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
you who are God my Savior,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
 Open my lips, Lord,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
 My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise.

 May it please you to prosper Zion,
to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
 Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
in burnt offerings offered whole;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.

David left that night filled in the Holy Spirit completely forgetting the pain that had brought him but, instead, was walking away in the love that enveloped him.  When we truly realize who we are as people, we come upon the conclusion that nothing is possible without God.  Living and breathing are all gifts from Him and it’s because of that Love we share with Him.   Be blessed by David’s testimony and let it impact your life on a deep level.

Romans 8:38-39

April 19th, 2011

I remember the day like it was yesterday….

Back in Asheville, I sat resting on my grandparent’s porch. Anxious for my return to Nicaragua, I had talked to Anthony the night before. We talked about his English classes, his angry father and his new crush. We said our “te queiro’s”(I love you) and screamed our “CREO EN TI’s” (I believe in you) and eventually we hung up, typical conversation with my sweet Anthony.

I hadn’t been sitting on the porch for long before I received a text on my phone that blatantly read “Amor, Anthony is dead” sent from one of the local Nicaragua youth. Naturally, I thought it was a dirty prank. I called Anthony’s phone and his mother picked up.  As soon as she answered my heart began to burn. Her voice was in shock, lifeless, as she spoke words from unbelief “he’s lost in the ocean”.

I have written many blogs about that time. Those two weeks before I left for Nicaragua, the day I returned and the hours I spent lying in bed next to his mother with no words.

But then there was a shift in my writing. It came from a moment where the weight of death could not be carried any longer. I laid on Anthony’s grave with Emerson’s hand on my back. Quickly, singing his favorite song turned into begging, wailing for Jesus to show me life from this grave.

Though my heart still felt his absence, my eyes begin to open and the hole in my heart began to fill.

Today is the two-year mark since Anthony’s death. I have spent these last two years watching Jesus relentlessly expose all of the beauty within the brokenness.  I have sat with Him and watched Him gather the mess that lay before us, gently placing together all the pieces of our broken hearts, only to create something extraordinary.

Anthony’s heart still beats strong.

Life, which is what this day represents and the way it floods endless through Jesus. His desire is to bring the resurrection power to any magnitude of death in this world.

It didn’t end when the Lord used my little brother, a Anthony, to awaken my calling. To set my passions set aflame. It didn’t end when with the fact that if Anthony hadn’t died, I would have never met my future husband. It didn’t end with the numerous emails and letters of your personal stories about Anthony’s effect on your life.

It’s only going to continue.

The memories of my relationship with Anthony will continue on, since the moment he asked me the question that changed my life on that dirty floor at New Song. Do you believe in me? Believing in each other, Creo en ti, that’s what our relationship was all about. Anthony and I believed that the dreams our father has for us go beyond anything we could ever imagine for ourselves. And that life is about discovering the fullness of all that we’re created for and soaring in it.

Out of Anthony’s heart to push beyond meager possibility and run in his dreams comes the Anthony Lives fund.

-I want to thank my Fiance, Kellen Gorbett for this incredible idea. Adventures In Mission for their endless encouragement and making this fund possible. Educate Nica, for their drive to see the children and youth of Nicaragua be given a successful education. And last but not least, New Song Mission Nicaragua, none of this would exist without it.

“This spring, two years later, Anthony would be finishing high school and on his way to the University. In honor of the boy who awakened passion and dreams in so many around, we are proud to introduce the Anthony Lives Fund”.

THE ANTHONY LIVES FUND

“Confidence is standing in front of someone else and being completely aware of yourself. Even happy about what you know. Knowing that you are worth knowing and worth loving, and knowing it so deep in your heart that it doesn’t even have to make it to the surface of your mind. Certainly not into your words either. If you have a deep knowledge that you are His and that He adores you, you don’t even consciously think about it or have to remind yourself, you just naturally live out of it.”

In order to be confident, it has to become a part of you. It can’t be you boosting yourself up, or hoping that someone else will. It can only come out of a place of acceptance. Knowing that you are accepted, knowing you are loved, and then living out of that truth. Take my friend Chris Miller. He just got married to one of the best people I know: Jessie (Stafford) Miller. When I first met Chris, I already liked him. Not that I am particularly hard to please, and the fact that he was dating my dear friend Jessie already put several points on his board, but when I met him, I remember being immediately hit with three thoughts:
1) He was very humble and welcoming.
2) He was great, and he knew he was great.
3) He would never try to figure out which of us was better. Because it didn’t matter.

Comparing ourselves to another person is irrelevant, because the gauge of how great you are has nothing to do with how much higher or lower you are than the person next to you, it only has to do with the fact that you are unbelievably loved. When you add the unashamed knowledge that you are great, with the humble understanding of who exactly it was that made you great, you end up with true, bona-fide confidence that you can live out of. Chris is a confident man, and I appreciate that about him.

There is a moment where this confidence can happen in you. Where the truth of God’s love for you finally clicks. It will come at a different moment for everyone, but there will come a time (if you keep walking with Him) where the knowledge that you are completely accepted has made the 18-inch-journey from your head to your heart and you let it shape your identity. It’s where you stop reminding yourself how terrible you are and start rejoicing at how good God is. It’s when you pass the point of having to remind yourself that you are His. When that knowledge becomes assumed. When it becomes automatic. Where you’ve lived in the Kingdom for so long that the shirt you put on every morning has the King’s crest on it, and you wouldn’t have even thought to wear anything else. Then everything you do, every smile, every dance, every song, every conversation, draws from that as its core, rather than as it’s shield. It’s the difference between wearing armor made out of steel, and being made of steel yourself. Actively dig into Him, look for the truth of how He feels about you, and forget that you don’t deserve it. Because He doesn’t care.

All that to say this: God is the keeper of your identity and confidence. He made you, and He both knows and likes what He made. Don’t look for who you are in anyone else, because they have nothing to do with it.

…and Congratulations Chris and Jessie!

“Confidence is standing in front of someone else and being completely aware of yourself. Even happy about what you know. Knowing that you are worth knowing and worth loving, and knowing it so deep in your heart that it doesn’t even have to make it to the surface of your mind. Certainly not into your words either. If you have a deep knowledge that you are His and that He adores you, you don’t even consciously think about it or have to remind yourself, you just naturally live out of it.”

God wants the truth that He loves us to be so deep in our hearts that we live out of it as the core of our identities. He has already revealed how He feels about us by sending Jesus, and He has already called us good. The rest is our reaction. And we were made not only to act confidently, but to be confident. There is a big difference between doing something awesome, and believing that you are awesome. Our God wants us to understand who we are, that we are a people made in His image (i.e. “awesome”) and that we were uniquely and individually created to express that image. For all you writers out there who wish you were musicians, and for all you musicians who wish you were businessmen, that was for you.

The thing is, in order to be confident, it has to become a part of you. It can’t be you boosting yourself up, or you hoping that someone else will. It can only come out of a place of acceptance. Knowing that you are accepted, knowing you are loved, and then living out of that truth. Take my friend Chris Miller. He just got married to one of the best people I know: Jessie (Stafford) Miller. When I first met Chris, I already liked him. Not that I am particularly hard to please, and the fact that he was dating my dear friend Jessie already put several points on his board, but when I met him, I remember being immediately hit with three thoughts:
1) He was very humble and welcoming.
2) He was great, and he knew he was great.
3) He would never try to figure out which of us was better. Because it didn’t matter.

Comparison doesn’t even compute for someone like Chris, because he is already confident. Comparing ourselves to another person is irrelevant, because the gauge of how great you are has nothing to do with how much higher or lower you are than the person next to you, it only has to do with the fact that you are unbelievably loved. When you add the unashamed knowledge that you are great, with the humble understanding of who exactly it was that made you great, you end up with true, bona-fide confidence that you can live out of. Chris is a confident man, and I appreciate that about him.

There is a moment where this confidence can happen in you. Where the truth of God’s love for you finally clicks. It will come at a different moment for everyone, but there will come a time (if you keep walking with Him) where the knowledge that you are completely accepted has made the 18-inch-journey from your head to your heart and you let it shape your identity. It’s where you stop reminding yourself how terrible you are and start rejoicing at how good God is. It’s when you pass the point of having to remind yourself that you are His. When that knowledge becomes assumed. When it becomes automatic. Where you’ve lived in the Kingdom for so long that the shirt you put on every morning has the King’s crest on it, and you wouldn’t have even thought to wear anything else. Then everything you do, every smile, every dance, every song, every conversation, draws from that as its core, rather than as it’s shield. It’s the difference between wearing armor made out of steel, and being made of steel yourself. Actively dig into Him, look for the truth of how He feels about you, and forget that you don’t deserve it. Because He doesn’t care.

All that to say this: God is the keeper of your identity and confidence. Don’t look for it in the person to your left; they have nothing to do with it.

…and Congratulations Chris and Jessie!

As Christians, we are all about freedom.  You hear it in pretty much every sermon, usually in a couple different ways.  Freedom is the aspect of our faith that enables us to become servants to Christ.  “…You are free, for Christ set you free.”  Freedom in the English dictionary means, “ to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.”  Would you believe me if I told you that its because of this freedom that most people will not accept Christ as savior?  

Probably not. 

That’s okay, but it is true.  I’ve spoken with many non-Christians and their whole theology about Christ and becoming a disciple is that they would become slaves to it, it speaks of being free but I have to give up my freedom!  What’s free about that?  To them, nothing!  There is nothing free about accepting Christ.  I enjoy what I do and what I’m apart of and the friends that I have.  The fear is that if they accept Christ, they have to give all that up.  Their lives are changed, whether they want it or not.  The fear of not being free is what holds them and us back from living up to the potential that Christ demand of us. 

It’s only through the love of Christ that we are truly free.  To feel loved beyond measure and to enjoy who we are as people, living with the Father face to face.  That love, my friends, is unimaginable.  Through that love, we are free.  Being in a relationship with God that has no love, is not a relationship but rather a personal problem where you live in the slave style mindset trying to escape but cannot.  It’s not possible.

Receiving love from God is like getting injected with Steroids.  There’s something about it that really brings out the real you from within.  The real you that isn’t corrupted by all the junk we’ve placed on top of our selves. 

Fear.

Unknown.

Let’s suppose that a kite could come to life and develop it’s own personality.  On the one hand it would feel exhilaration that comes from the surges of the wind that direct it through the sky.  On the other hand, it would almost immediately take notice of something annoying….the tugging of the string at it’s Centre, the feeling of constraint, resistance.  Soon the kite begins to think for itself…”if only i could detach, then I could really fly!”

To the kite, you see, it seems that the string is limiting its full experience of freedom.  But as any boy or girl who has ever flown a kite knows, were that string to suddenly snap…the kite wouldn’t soar free for very long.  It would dart to and fro for a minute or two but very soon thereafter it would end up on the ground. 

A pile of broken sticks and torn paper…never to fly again.  Rather you see, it is the taught line between the kite and the one hold it that enables the kite to fly, that allows all the principles of aerodynamics to come to play so that the kite might achieve it’s full purpose. 

Christian love performs the very same function as a kit string.   You take away the stabilizing force of Christian love and…every towering gift, every supernatural power, every sacrificial act, every musical performance….you name it friends, it will all end up on the ash heap of eternal insignificance….

(Without love….)

Choosing to propose

]]> http://creoentinica.wordpress.com/2013/04/03/he-chooses-me-daily/feed/ 0 http://www.harvestequippers.org/2013/04/02/take-a-risk/ http://www.harvestequippers.org/2013/04/02/take-a-risk/#comments Tue, 02 Apr 2013 16:50:30 +0000 toliveaschrist http://toliveaschrist.wordpress.com/2013/04/02/take-a-risk-2/ ]]> Take a risk; your Father is the king of the Universe.

Ever played it safe? 

Thought about the situation a little too much?

Psyched yourself out?

I have.

It’s not something that glorious when you really think about it.  I had the opportunity of doing something grand, to do something with my Father and knew that I’m going to look crazy to the people around me, but who cares?  Sorry, that ended before it began because you over analyzed it.  Its done, finished.  What is it that stops us from really living out a crazy, uninhibited lifestyle that is freeing and full of life? 

Rules?

Laws?

Fears?

I don’t understand sometimes why most people are cut off short of what they wanted to accomplish and settle for second best instead of pushing through the pain and discomfort to achieve that one thing that stand far above the others.

Ourselves.

That’s the key to the lock that keeps the shackles locked around our feet, cutting us off from running the race placed in front of us.  We don’t see it as such, too blinded by the world to notice the truth so plainly placed in front of us.  Having the devil smack us in the face cause were too stupid to realize that we’re better than him at everything. 

When we break free, we’re belittled by the world and the people we call church member by them telling us we’re doing too much.  As if we could do too much for Christ. 

Ever been called crazy?

I have.

It’s the awakening in your soul that sets you free from the world around you, creating you into the person you were born to be, instead of fitting into the cookie cutter houses of people we have proclaiming to be our friends.   

Your friends don’t believe you.  You’re lying when you tell people you’re okay.  You get it, but you don’t get it!  You think that life you live is one you can just throw away and live it up to the standard of what you think is the best for you?

No.

Long gone are the days where you were the hero of the football team or the leader in the band; Friday night movie nights with the girl down the street is now a faded memory to the life you are livin’ right now. 

All those bad decisions you made during those days of your life that made you feel good on the inside are now biting you on the inside.  Ripping apart your dreams and feeding on your thoughts because that was cool, that life was the thing to do, what a time it is now. 

Perfect.

That term, meaning free from any flaw or defect in condition or quality, used to describe us.  A broken people so far gone that one of perfection needed to take our place, pay the payment for our past decisions. 

Jesus.

The crucified son of man, through forgiveness, we gain free passage into the promise land.  He paid it all.  That payment on the cross for the forgiveness of a beloved people is what makes us who we are.  Remember that fact, each and every day. 

Peace.

Love.

Forgiveness.

Acceptance.